Aerosol Delivers 5G as Mist, Solves Countless Technical Problems

April 1, 2020
An opportunistic vendor has packaged 5G-designated nanoparticles in a handy spray can, ready to easily resolve technical issues and overcome system constraints.

Series: April 1, 2020: What's Trending in Technology?

A leading provider of aerosols has packaged 5G mist in an easy-to-use spray can, claiming it can solve nearly all technical problems and even some social issues. According the Jack Sprague, CEO of The Mister Inc., he was inspired by how many references to this thing called “5G” he saw.

He noted that “It seemed whatever and wherever the technical problem was—whether V2V connectivity, super-fast file downloads, medical research, excess data-link latency, almost anything—the answer I saw was almost always this thing called 5G.” That’s when the proverbial light when on in his head, and he told the product-development team to get on the project right away, now marketed as “5G Fixer in a Can.”

The first step, he said, was to license the 5G designation characters from 3GPP, the 3rd Generation Partnership Project standards organization that develops protocols for mobile telephony. “That was easy,” he added, “since our efforts had no impact on their 5G technical standards and had no spectrum, format, or protocol implications.”

Next, engineers tackled the more difficult part: They developed easy-to-manufacture nanoparticles in the shape of the 5G designation, internally code-named 5G-hype nanoparticles. These were then packed into a standard can pressurized by harmless nitrogen for convenient use and no safety issues.

Sprague continued, “Now, whatever your issue, whether it’s a small, localized problem or even a broader system limitation, just a few shorts bursts of our 5G-hype spray will likely solve or reduce it.” The real question, he added, is “what won’t it solve?”

As an added benefit, the aerosol can is refillable from a larger supply to minimize wasteful trash and environmental impact, with a single large refill canister holding about 100X the volume of 5G nanoparticles compared the dispenser aerosol. “5G Fixer in a Can” will reach retail shelves in April and be available through major online sites. For situations where there are restrictions on when and how pressurized aerosols can be shipped, customers can buy the 5G-infused nanoparticles separately in bulk and have an empty can (also available) pressurized locally.

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